Being a Writer is a Grind

Being a freelance writer and poet appears like a cozy job. Sitting at home, sipping a morning americano, and then having the opportunity to earn money for writing seems lovely. Just like all writing jobs, it's not that easy.

The element of procrastination is still real, even when you're earning money from home. My husband and I just moved to Asheville, NC, so looking out the window and watching the sun turn the tips of the trees auburn is my favorite way to lose a morning. But, waking up at 7am, and then realizing it's suddenly 1pm is a goddamn disaster.

Don't Take Yourself Too Seriously

The best thing you can do when you begin to write is realize how finite our lives are. I get it - the blog post about dog treats is due tomorrow, or you really want to send out your short story to your friends, but in the end, writing takes patience. It takes the extra cup of coffee you may need to get going, or the endless Facebook scrolling through videos of cute bats eating a banana.

You need to go on a walk outside to see the leaves catch fire from fading sunlight, and the crunch of berries and pinecones beneath your boots. I know firsthand that it even takes a long sitz bath, and a glass of wine, reading a few of your favorite dog-eared poems. But, by the end of the day, you need to get writing. Get something on the page.

Why You Should Keep Writing

1. Writing is fun

Don't forget why writing became more than a hobby. I started seriously writing after reading East of Eden. You can't read something that beautiful and still be writing poetry about black ink dripping melodramatically down the page.

Put images down on the page. Be vulnerable with the reader because you want them to walk away knowing a little bit more about you, the speaker. How you see the world, interpret it, love it, or hate it. Give a little bit of yourself every time that you write. Your readers will remember it.

2. Success only comes to those who practice

You can't write "My Father Speaks to Me From the Dead," by pulling out a pen once a year and taking a crack at the page. Read what you write. If you need to write blog posts, read blog posts. If you're writing poetry, pick out the best poetry collections you can find - I'm looking at you Sharon Olds, Li-Young Lee, Joe Bolton, and Carolyn Forche.

You heard it here . . . and probably many other places, that you need to read to write. Hey, it isn't always easy. You worked an 8-hour day, put your kid to bed, ate dinner, and your ass is kaput. Don't settle for television. Read a poem, a short story, or an essay before bed, and your thoughts will leaping with new images.

If you can't, wait . . . why can't you?

3. Writing a "bad" poem is better than no poem

It may not feel that way, but it's true. Here's a poem I wrote before bed a couple nights ago, that I'm not into:

You taught me

how to do your

laundry. To flatten

my palms across

the collars, button

the cuffs, the top

snap, to fold sleeves

inward before

hanging. I didn't

know how to wash

my clothes, how to

shop for underwear.

Instead, I turned them

inside out on days

where clothes

piled into the corner

of my room, like

a mound of dirt.

When both sides

were stained, I would

go without under

wear, I would feel

the weight of myself

drip down my legs,

notice the stains on

my cuffs, or how hungry

I felt by the end

of the day. No one

to pack my lunch

or shop for breakfast,

just the cereal for

dinner burbling

in my stomach

and longing for

something more.

But writing first drafts and putting something out there is better than letting months pass by without a word on the page.

Don't Be in Denial

It's easier to give up on writing than on almost anything else in life. How easy would it be to stopping sitting at the typewriter, the writing desk, the phone held between your hands while you lay in bed at night, or to stop throwing wads of notebook paper in the trash?

It's easy to settle for hours on television or on getting a few extra hours of sleep, instead of writing a goddamn poem. I get it. Who the heck is reading poetry anyway? But denying yourself the love of writing isn't worth it. What do you make of leaves, if not the sweet scent on the air. Are you still looking at the bank of brackish water to see the furrowed trees being pushed down the the stream?

Life is too beautiful to waste, so stick it out, write about your father wasting away in bed, or the stranger watching porn on the desktop next to the gym. Write about the homeless guy who knocked you into the street with a giant flag pole, and write about the moment you watched your mother die. Are you a writer if you can live without giving up every bit of yourself, without watching the pieces take shape on the page, and doing it non-stop until you finally can't?